How much time for memory and myth?

After last night's visit to the Vietnam Memorial, a question keeps me wondering. When is the time appropriate to honor historic events? I ask this after seeing the two additional sets of statues of the three soldiers and the women's section. Why couldn't the nurse( the women's statues) hold a Vietnamese child in her arms, instead of a soldier's helmet? Why did the three soldiers look like something from Apocalypse Now? Memory and myth-so what are we saying about this unpopular and lost war by these three structures? How do we honor those that have given the ultimater sacrifice? Do we always need the actual figures? Sharon